the model modern officer

Time and again I've said that I'm an experiment in sleep deprivation. What happens? How does performance decrease? How long can it last? Well, as I continue to gather data for these questions, I'm adding a new side effect to the list. Disorders of the Epidermis, caused by lack of bathing, due to lack of time, relating back to lack of too many things in this life current. Certified by the school nurse. Seriously. Things have reached a new crisis point when it hit me this evening that I have to make sure to remind myself to shower on a more regular basis.. that probably sounds bad, but I'd rather sleep than bathe, and I have pretty loose sanitary standards in general... Don't get me wrong.. it's not like i stink.... but yeah. New consequences... The data gathering reminds me, I had a funny talk with kirsa earlier.. she always thinks i hate science, which i don't. I love it, i also need to poke fun at it at times, and of course more so because she's such a lover of it, but she was telling me something exciting from one of her classes that basically boiled down to after decades of counting fish stuff, they found the result that you would of course expect. And that was the exciting part. Wow, I'm doing a really really terrible job of explaining this right now, so im not even going to erase it, I'm just gooing to come back and explain it another day. Who knows when, i thought it would be more regular, but i cant even make it to the cleaning room. i hear its next to godliness.. lets meet soon.

Did anyone else hear that?

So what have you been doing lately besides not blogging, alicia? I don't know- let's start the top of the list off by acknowledging the fact that at this very moment I'm talking to myself, or rather writing to myself in question/answer format. That probably definitely helps to color the lovely rainbow spectrum of my life current.
Speaking of color and lighting, I'm studying a bit of lighting design in my intro to technical theatre class right now, and I have to say, it's pretty fun stuff. I'm actually excited about it. Could this be an arena in the theatre where math and creativity meet, marry, and have babies? Who knows... all I'm saying is there is a lighting program called vector works. nuff said. I knew all that time spent with the lite brite in my younger years would pay off.
I'm about to make myself laugh out loud as I write, and In fact I just did. I don't think that's because of my amazing wit but more a result of my punch drunk state. I feel a little loopy and the idea of bed is looking pretty good right now. I actually started blogging this post frantically in an attempt to look studious because I'm in a study room at the library this minute, and I just pounded on the table a couple of times in good spirits and to accompany the sound of my seagullish laughter. This followed by proclamation "I'm awesome." which just amused the heck out of me.
So what have I really been doing? I don't know. Life has been a bit crazy this whole semester and I don't really have great answers why. I'm living in a house that I love right now, and the loan finally came through that ensures that I'll get to keep living there.. which is some recent good news. My class load should be easy, and yet I'm not being the best student. A good ways from it actually... but not horrible either.. I guess Im just feeling very unmotivated and a little crazy. Anyone who knows me knows that my biggest fear is the day when I go crazy, or rather crazy enough to not be able to function in society, and so feeling this way, plus a little depressed for any extended period of time is worrisome to me to say the least.. but we can't ignore the fact that I'm a hypochondriac and so will use any typical young person crisis to be evidence of some mental disorder which I don't really have... see!? saying that right now is practically like signing my execution sermon, and admitting something is wrong, even though nothing is wrong! Maybe this has to do with something else....
something else..
like.....
Clown Camp!!! a couple of weekends ago, a retreat at the shrine with john leo and 8 other clowns.. it was everything I'd hoped it would be and so so so much more. And that's completely sincere. I felt that I had some really big stuff happen within me as a person, and dare I say, a spiritual experience? I think an after effect of said experience is that I feel like I'm being a much more candid person, and maybe I'm saying things, expressing emotions, that I would usually keep to myself. I don't know.. I feel like I know myself pretty well, so when I start surprising myself, it's... well, suprising! which seems kind of cocky for a 21 year old, a mere babe in the wood.. but what can I say.. I'm calling it as I see it, speaking of ages also: my most adored older sister is about to turn 29. Does anyone else think that sounds completely ridiculous? Did she not just turn 28? what the hell is going on? That's nearly 30... not that I consider 30 to be old or anyhting... but kirsa? 30?
Ok, im going to wrap this one up for now, so how to summarize? It's been lovely and leafy and im seeing much more fall here than i have in previous years, I think that might be another great effect of living on the cove.. Oh im such a lucky girl.
I think also that even though things are changy and crazy, this is most likely just another part of being a big kid and growing up, or aging, or whatever... and im still enjoying life, all the time.. all the time, bay-beh!